...motivation to start practicing. But no. I've even assisted in research on this.
MBCT is an effective and efficient way to prevent relapse/recurrence in recovered depressed patients with 3 or more previous episodes.
(link, link, link)
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
More Fun From The Inbox
yes, yess, said Gollum, still
twisting and grabbling at his side.
A customers bargained loudly and nonsensically.
Too fail here, brother, he said. Two
were on the activation of
the coomb. seeking to claim the treasure that was their leader, and Atilla positioned their Hovertanks. Dana had been confident the Lizards had manners, though not to have the dash-five tail and hind legs of his own. Deep snow begins soon.
Zolraag let his hands to stop and get yourselves to the command center, and from this day forth, let all who threatened them?
George From out of the port commo screen, profiles, front and I ignored it and shook her head. Okay, toss it through the forward viewports. In the end, they say.
For an age of ten, and eleven. We should instruct Gorax to
set out atop empty Karbarran beer barrels. And I see that
I am not worthy of so many medals that he did so. The ground was gently rising. The water in and out of
his life, but nothing workable.
As tactics.
went over their scaly shoulders,
with hand weapons, and follow-up explosion. She thought she would, at some intermediate port. The pipelines diameter was about to let him know Germany and Holland are eight. Four
this afternoon, she had come through the hill-side till
the hill-sides echoed. It was in too much to the table, again on nothing even as all the time. But unless the miracle that was a place
to which it now seemed dread-
fully slow. The Admiral just
looked at her coldly. Because I come to fruition.
And responsible.
Me?! I can tell that frigate that it was there in the sea, or eagles hovering over them, a spot where there was nothing the Human form, however gross, would have been afraid of the favorite
verses by heart anyway. She only wanted to scream. Sinking her fingers at Jack. Come on, Johnny said. His voice
CHAPTER SIX
I recalled my words were readable
through the dense net of scrambler energy into the ships reappearance far from the sky. Waves of incinerating
nuclear energy rushed over him.
Then lies. It is quite unexpected, and in any case I forget finding you might enjoy-it should be upset about something.
Rick listened to it.
I praise with which you saw us, said Aragorn.
Half and had a crew of full-size Zentraedi were powerless. For surely that was a swift bird on the eastward slopes were bare and
rocky, as the Soviets were gone, Johnny got up off the radio, the voice that came flying a combat flier.
Still, see history go up
in the rescue or
perhaps it visualized the comfort of it from his horse
----
It's interesting what gets past the spam filter.
twisting and grabbling at his side.
A customers bargained loudly and nonsensically.
Too fail here, brother, he said. Two
were on the activation of
the coomb. seeking to claim the treasure that was their leader, and Atilla positioned their Hovertanks. Dana had been confident the Lizards had manners, though not to have the dash-five tail and hind legs of his own. Deep snow begins soon.
Zolraag let his hands to stop and get yourselves to the command center, and from this day forth, let all who threatened them?
George From out of the port commo screen, profiles, front and I ignored it and shook her head. Okay, toss it through the forward viewports. In the end, they say.
For an age of ten, and eleven. We should instruct Gorax to
set out atop empty Karbarran beer barrels. And I see that
I am not worthy of so many medals that he did so. The ground was gently rising. The water in and out of
his life, but nothing workable.
As tactics.
went over their scaly shoulders,
with hand weapons, and follow-up explosion. She thought she would, at some intermediate port. The pipelines diameter was about to let him know Germany and Holland are eight. Four
this afternoon, she had come through the hill-side till
the hill-sides echoed. It was in too much to the table, again on nothing even as all the time. But unless the miracle that was a place
to which it now seemed dread-
fully slow. The Admiral just
looked at her coldly. Because I come to fruition.
And responsible.
Me?! I can tell that frigate that it was there in the sea, or eagles hovering over them, a spot where there was nothing the Human form, however gross, would have been afraid of the favorite
verses by heart anyway. She only wanted to scream. Sinking her fingers at Jack. Come on, Johnny said. His voice
CHAPTER SIX
I recalled my words were readable
through the dense net of scrambler energy into the ships reappearance far from the sky. Waves of incinerating
nuclear energy rushed over him.
Then lies. It is quite unexpected, and in any case I forget finding you might enjoy-it should be upset about something.
Rick listened to it.
I praise with which you saw us, said Aragorn.
Half and had a crew of full-size Zentraedi were powerless. For surely that was a swift bird on the eastward slopes were bare and
rocky, as the Soviets were gone, Johnny got up off the radio, the voice that came flying a combat flier.
Still, see history go up
in the rescue or
perhaps it visualized the comfort of it from his horse
----
It's interesting what gets past the spam filter.
Friday, October 26, 2007
PAYMENT NOTIFICATION
UNITED NATIONS
(WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL
PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS.
870 UNITED NATIONS B PLAZA 20-A
NEW YORK NY 10017 USA.
WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT
Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX027
ATTN:SIR/MADAM,
RE: IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT
We have actually been authorized by the presidency, of (A.U) African Union and the governing board of commercial Banks in West African Countries to investigate the unnecessary delay of your payment, recommended and approve your claims for payment if certified as genuine.
During the course of our investigation, we discovered with dismay that your payment has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt officials of the Bank who are trying to divert your money into their private accounts, to forestall this, security for your funds was organized in the form of your personal identification (PIN) numbers and your transfer access code (T.A.C), this will enable only you have direct control/access over this fund, we have also agreed with the presidency that we will handle this payment ourselves to avoid the hopeless situation created by the officials of the Bank to their foreign contractors and other beneficiaries.
We obtained an irrevocable payment guarantee on your payment from the presidency we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation, instructions. Your entire Inheritance/Contract fund has been credited in your favour through our overseas paying Bank.
You are therefore advised to contact REV. GRAHAM DRYDEN WILLIAM DIRECTOR International Audit unit, United Nations Liaison Office Cotonou, Republic Du Benin on 229 97 72 15 25 or EMAIL : un_rep01@bk.ru to collect your original Payment Slip with your Pin and Transfer Access Code.
As soon as you submit these Codes and your Payment Slip to your bank they will credit your account without delay. NOTE: YOU ARE ADVICED TO FURNISH REV. GRAHAM DRYDEN WITH YOUR CORRECT CONTACT AND BANKING DETAILS TO AVOID TRANSFER OF THIS FUND INTO A WRONG ACCOUNT.
We expect your urgent response to this email to enable us monitor this payment effectively.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CAPT.PERA C. WELLS
UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK.
[Why can't they just send me a check?]
(WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL
PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS.
870 UNITED NATIONS B PLAZA 20-A
NEW YORK NY 10017 USA.
WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT
Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX027
ATTN:SIR/MADAM,
RE: IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT
We have actually been authorized by the presidency, of (A.U) African Union and the governing board of commercial Banks in West African Countries to investigate the unnecessary delay of your payment, recommended and approve your claims for payment if certified as genuine.
During the course of our investigation, we discovered with dismay that your payment has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt officials of the Bank who are trying to divert your money into their private accounts, to forestall this, security for your funds was organized in the form of your personal identification (PIN) numbers and your transfer access code (T.A.C), this will enable only you have direct control/access over this fund, we have also agreed with the presidency that we will handle this payment ourselves to avoid the hopeless situation created by the officials of the Bank to their foreign contractors and other beneficiaries.
We obtained an irrevocable payment guarantee on your payment from the presidency we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation, instructions. Your entire Inheritance/Contract fund has been credited in your favour through our overseas paying Bank.
You are therefore advised to contact REV. GRAHAM DRYDEN WILLIAM DIRECTOR International Audit unit, United Nations Liaison Office Cotonou, Republic Du Benin on 229 97 72 15 25 or EMAIL : un_rep01@bk.ru to collect your original Payment Slip with your Pin and Transfer Access Code.
As soon as you submit these Codes and your Payment Slip to your bank they will credit your account without delay. NOTE: YOU ARE ADVICED TO FURNISH REV. GRAHAM DRYDEN WITH YOUR CORRECT CONTACT AND BANKING DETAILS TO AVOID TRANSFER OF THIS FUND INTO A WRONG ACCOUNT.
We expect your urgent response to this email to enable us monitor this payment effectively.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CAPT.PERA C. WELLS
UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK.
[Why can't they just send me a check?]
Friday, October 12, 2007
Positive Deviance
Atul Gawande is a good surgeon and a really good writer.
He's written a book called Better. It's about how the medical profession and non-medical professionals, and presumably almost anyone, can systematically become better at what they do.
Two examples are: industrial/human-factors engineering to improve hand-washing compliance; the DRASH system (a 900 square-foot mobile hospital that fits in five backpacks and can be setup in ~30 minutes) for Forward Surgical Teams in the military -- which cut the death rate from 25% to less than 10% for battlefield injuries.
Gawande's three basic observations of people who are positive deviants -- presumably better than about 95% of the relevant population:
1. They don't complain.
2. They write about what they do.
3. They count something.
One example of someone who fulfills those requirements, or at least the latter two of the three, is Jim Plagakis, a pharmacist.
I want to be a better student and a better systems engineer.
I'm pretty good about not complaining about school. I am not good at writing, or rather following a good writing process, nevermind writing about school. I don't count anything regarding school. I could, though. For instance, regarding writing, I could measure how long it takes me to write a page of text given a decent outline and enough background information and research.
I complain about system engineering and the general IT processes at my workplace. Often I'm complaining internally or to friends without any vested interest in IT. ...when I should be writing things down into coherent things that might be instrumental in changing our IT department and processes. I don't count anything at work, either. But there are probably multitudes of indicators available for investigation. I started to time my system deployments but haven't really continued to do so.
(Actually doing those three things is a real bitch when coping with depression.)
So, you should read Better. (And Complications. And Jerome Groopman's How Doctors Think.)
He's written a book called Better. It's about how the medical profession and non-medical professionals, and presumably almost anyone, can systematically become better at what they do.
Two examples are: industrial/human-factors engineering to improve hand-washing compliance; the DRASH system (a 900 square-foot mobile hospital that fits in five backpacks and can be setup in ~30 minutes) for Forward Surgical Teams in the military -- which cut the death rate from 25% to less than 10% for battlefield injuries.
Gawande's three basic observations of people who are positive deviants -- presumably better than about 95% of the relevant population:
1. They don't complain.
2. They write about what they do.
3. They count something.
One example of someone who fulfills those requirements, or at least the latter two of the three, is Jim Plagakis, a pharmacist.
I want to be a better student and a better systems engineer.
I'm pretty good about not complaining about school. I am not good at writing, or rather following a good writing process, nevermind writing about school. I don't count anything regarding school. I could, though. For instance, regarding writing, I could measure how long it takes me to write a page of text given a decent outline and enough background information and research.
I complain about system engineering and the general IT processes at my workplace. Often I'm complaining internally or to friends without any vested interest in IT. ...when I should be writing things down into coherent things that might be instrumental in changing our IT department and processes. I don't count anything at work, either. But there are probably multitudes of indicators available for investigation. I started to time my system deployments but haven't really continued to do so.
(Actually doing those three things is a real bitch when coping with depression.)
So, you should read Better. (And Complications. And Jerome Groopman's How Doctors Think.)
Don't Speak
As heard on Fair Game with Faith Salie from PRI: Will Schwalbe -- Editor-in-Chief of Hyperion Books and the Co-Author of Send - The Essential Guide To Email for Office and Home
Quotation attributed to Eliot Spitzer: "Never talk when you can nod, never write when you can talk."
An addendum from Will: "Never put it in an email."
Quotation attributed to Eliot Spitzer: "Never talk when you can nod, never write when you can talk."
An addendum from Will: "Never put it in an email."
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
What's the point-
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Note To Self
Be A Positive Deviant:
1. Don't Complain.
2. Write.
3. Count Something.
Thank you, Atul. I will try.
1. Don't Complain.
2. Write.
3. Count Something.
Thank you, Atul. I will try.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Armchair Quarterbacking -- Cyclist Coach Style
Shift to the middle ring and sit down.
Wear a goddamn helmet!
Dear Lord! Raise your seatpost. Do you want to break your knees?
A fixie! You're good. Carry on.
Wear. Your. Helmet.
Oh my God! You're at an appropriate cadence! Congratulations! By the way, are you single?
Your front wheel is about to fall off. Seriously.
And you should probably be wearing a helmet.
Wear a goddamn helmet!
Dear Lord! Raise your seatpost. Do you want to break your knees?
A fixie! You're good. Carry on.
Wear. Your. Helmet.
Oh my God! You're at an appropriate cadence! Congratulations! By the way, are you single?
Your front wheel is about to fall off. Seriously.
And you should probably be wearing a helmet.
Democrats
Question: How many democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: None. They think the government is supposed to do that for them.
Q:How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!
Answer: None. They think the government is supposed to do that for them.
Q:How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Walkin' the Line
Dear Readers,
Been a while, huh?
This post was prompted not by the plethora of ideas bouncing around my head, but rather by a song lyric from a band recommended to me by K. after I finished bitching about the past two weeks. That a song overcame my inertia isn't surprising. Music is supremely important.
The exposition of those other bouncing ideas has been suppressed by dysthymia and perhaps someday I'll write them out. There are a few good ones, too.
The song is Still Be Around from Uncle Tupelo's second album, Still Feel Gone (1991).
Throughout, a shimmering, light lead guitar balances the fermented lyrics. The guitar is reminiscent of some of the songs on R.E.M.'s Reckoning, which is their second album, coincidentally. Onto the lyrics:
I don't see you through the windshield
I don't see you in faces looking back at me
Alcohol doesn't have much that matters to say
Can't imagine where you and time to kill will stay
When the bible is a bottle
and the hardwood floor is home...
When morning comes twice a day or not at all...
If I break in two, will you put me back together?
When this puzzle's figured out
will you still be around
to say, you've just been there,
walkin' the line, upside down...
Walked and breathed many a cancerous mile
Where the bat of an eye is too slow to beat the coffin
They won't tell it on the TV, they can't say it on the radio
They pay to move it off the shelf and into our minds
'till you can't tell the truth when it's right in front of your eyes
When the bible is a bottle
and the hardwood floor is home...
When morning comes twice a day or not at all...
If I break in two, will you put me back together?
When this puzzle's figured out
will you still be around
to say, you've just been there,
walkin' the line, upside down...
The last line of the chorus, “Walkin' the line, upside down” is superb. Borrowing from Johnny Cash, kicking it on its ear so it fits perfectly. Walking the line drunk and alone, upside down. Sometimes I like clever a lot.
Shimmering is a trite, overused adjective for describing stringed instrumentals in songs. Including the R.E.M. album I mentioned. I apologize for using it. It's just so damned apt.
It's been two weeks since I've had a cigarette. I was smoking “only” three or four cigarettes a day at the end. Nonetheless, it's been difficult. I mainly smoked to cope with stress at work, and work has been insane. Hackers are a real bitch. As is unnecessary bureaucracy. Both of those are topics for separate posts. Comma dammit period.
I'm replacing nicotine, a stimulant and an antidepressant, with more coffee and alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant. And I suffer from recurrent major depression and dysthymia. Which makes smoking cessation a... bad idea. Whoa. Who saw that coming? And I don't want to use the patch or gum, because I like assuming the hardass façade and I want to quit like a hardass. I'm really stupid sometimes.
So the song's alcoholism is more apropos than usual. I haven't slept on the floor, and I've had much worse nights, but I'm now using moderate-to-heavy alcohol consumption as a coping strategy, without pushing my luck in terms of over-doing it. Occasional crazy nights are, I think, less bad than consistent drinking-to-survive. Especially when a CNS depressant is almost guaranteed to inflame any symptoms of depression.
I'm not walking cancerous miles, but I might as well be. Without consulting my psychiatrist, I am walking the line between depression and health, between intelligent decisions and stupid choices regarding psychoactive chemicals.
I'm not living at home. I'm not in a relationship that I can leech support from. If I break myself in two, who will put me back together?
And when the fuck am I going to figure out this puzzle?
Been a while, huh?
This post was prompted not by the plethora of ideas bouncing around my head, but rather by a song lyric from a band recommended to me by K. after I finished bitching about the past two weeks. That a song overcame my inertia isn't surprising. Music is supremely important.
The exposition of those other bouncing ideas has been suppressed by dysthymia and perhaps someday I'll write them out. There are a few good ones, too.
The song is Still Be Around from Uncle Tupelo's second album, Still Feel Gone (1991).
Throughout, a shimmering, light lead guitar balances the fermented lyrics. The guitar is reminiscent of some of the songs on R.E.M.'s Reckoning, which is their second album, coincidentally. Onto the lyrics:
I don't see you through the windshield
I don't see you in faces looking back at me
Alcohol doesn't have much that matters to say
Can't imagine where you and time to kill will stay
When the bible is a bottle
and the hardwood floor is home...
When morning comes twice a day or not at all...
If I break in two, will you put me back together?
When this puzzle's figured out
will you still be around
to say, you've just been there,
walkin' the line, upside down...
Walked and breathed many a cancerous mile
Where the bat of an eye is too slow to beat the coffin
They won't tell it on the TV, they can't say it on the radio
They pay to move it off the shelf and into our minds
'till you can't tell the truth when it's right in front of your eyes
When the bible is a bottle
and the hardwood floor is home...
When morning comes twice a day or not at all...
If I break in two, will you put me back together?
When this puzzle's figured out
will you still be around
to say, you've just been there,
walkin' the line, upside down...
The last line of the chorus, “Walkin' the line, upside down” is superb. Borrowing from Johnny Cash, kicking it on its ear so it fits perfectly. Walking the line drunk and alone, upside down. Sometimes I like clever a lot.
Shimmering is a trite, overused adjective for describing stringed instrumentals in songs. Including the R.E.M. album I mentioned. I apologize for using it. It's just so damned apt.
It's been two weeks since I've had a cigarette. I was smoking “only” three or four cigarettes a day at the end. Nonetheless, it's been difficult. I mainly smoked to cope with stress at work, and work has been insane. Hackers are a real bitch. As is unnecessary bureaucracy. Both of those are topics for separate posts. Comma dammit period.
I'm replacing nicotine, a stimulant and an antidepressant, with more coffee and alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant. And I suffer from recurrent major depression and dysthymia. Which makes smoking cessation a... bad idea. Whoa. Who saw that coming? And I don't want to use the patch or gum, because I like assuming the hardass façade and I want to quit like a hardass. I'm really stupid sometimes.
So the song's alcoholism is more apropos than usual. I haven't slept on the floor, and I've had much worse nights, but I'm now using moderate-to-heavy alcohol consumption as a coping strategy, without pushing my luck in terms of over-doing it. Occasional crazy nights are, I think, less bad than consistent drinking-to-survive. Especially when a CNS depressant is almost guaranteed to inflame any symptoms of depression.
I'm not walking cancerous miles, but I might as well be. Without consulting my psychiatrist, I am walking the line between depression and health, between intelligent decisions and stupid choices regarding psychoactive chemicals.
I'm not living at home. I'm not in a relationship that I can leech support from. If I break myself in two, who will put me back together?
And when the fuck am I going to figure out this puzzle?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Nicotine.
The island of Nantucket has three zip codes.
Nantucket's best burgers are at the Brotherhood, but watch your head on the way in.
In 2001, Nantucket won the Best Island award from the readers of Travel and Leisure.
Nantucket has the highest number of rare species anywhere in Massachusetts.
Nantucket is 20 miles off the coast of Hyannis, Massachusetts.
The "Turkey Terrific" sandwich from Provisions on Nantucket has become an island tradition for lunch.
Nantucket sea captains displayed pineapples on their homes to announce their return from long voyages.
Nantucket's newspaper, The Inquirer and Mirror, was founded in 1821 and sold for 4 cents a copy in 1900.
Nantucket's Straight Wharf was built in 1723 and was the focal marina for the whaling industry.
The song, "Summer Wind" is played nightly to signify last call at the Straight Wharf Bar & Restaurant.
There are over 1,000 acres of farmland on Nantucket.
The most famous of Nantucket's hidden forests is off Polpis Road.
----------
Many years ago I overhauled one of the Two Toms' Dad's super-nice road bike.
My Mom's cousin is married to the same Tom's sister.
Nantucket's best burgers are at the Brotherhood, but watch your head on the way in.
In 2001, Nantucket won the Best Island award from the readers of Travel and Leisure.
Nantucket has the highest number of rare species anywhere in Massachusetts.
Nantucket is 20 miles off the coast of Hyannis, Massachusetts.
The "Turkey Terrific" sandwich from Provisions on Nantucket has become an island tradition for lunch.
Nantucket sea captains displayed pineapples on their homes to announce their return from long voyages.
Nantucket's newspaper, The Inquirer and Mirror, was founded in 1821 and sold for 4 cents a copy in 1900.
Nantucket's Straight Wharf was built in 1723 and was the focal marina for the whaling industry.
The song, "Summer Wind" is played nightly to signify last call at the Straight Wharf Bar & Restaurant.
There are over 1,000 acres of farmland on Nantucket.
The most famous of Nantucket's hidden forests is off Polpis Road.
----------
Many years ago I overhauled one of the Two Toms' Dad's super-nice road bike.
My Mom's cousin is married to the same Tom's sister.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Yeah, Pretty Much I Did Mean That.
-- Your Search: "0xffffff9a0" --
"0xffffff9a0" is not in any document.
Did you mean: suffer ?
Thanks very much Novell's Support site.
"0xffffff9a0" is not in any document.
Did you mean: suffer ?
Thanks very much Novell's Support site.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Fortunate
Find release from your cares.have a good time.
Hmm. Without booze, you say? Thanks, fortune cookie!
(Yes, no space, no capitalization are in the original.)
Hmm. Without booze, you say? Thanks, fortune cookie!
(Yes, no space, no capitalization are in the original.)
Different from Yesterday
My cat is in the refrigerator.
Inside three bags.
Dead.
(This is what you do when your cat dies on the weekend and you can't send it to the crematorium via the vet until Monday.)
He was ~19 years old. And an outdoor cat. I find it amazing that he lived this long.
I had scheduled the euthanasia procedure for Monday night, and I'm relieved that Mike died on his own. It may have been more painful for him to die in that manner than it would have been for him to have been heavily sedated before his heart stopped, but I don't know. I do know that I would have had a much more difficult time coping with that situation, however.
Perhaps avoiding making an event out of it affords me the ability to deny / repress / ignore the situation. But perhaps it is more complicated than that.
I don't feel different than I did yesterday. However, maybe I am numb.
It's also possible that I do feel different and don't know it yet. Alexithymia makes for interesting times. Perhaps in a few days I will know that I feel different. Then I can figure out what word goes with that different feeling. The situation calls for grief -- perhaps this will be a simpler emotional puzzle to solve -- I already have the final label.
During middle school and high school, when I was most deeply depressed, Mike was essentially the only object I loved and felt love from. Overly-simplistic love, and unconditional love. But nonetheless, far more than I could give or receive from my family or friends. It would make sense, then, that his death would have a significant impact on my emotions.
But not yet, it seems.
Inside three bags.
Dead.
(This is what you do when your cat dies on the weekend and you can't send it to the crematorium via the vet until Monday.)
He was ~19 years old. And an outdoor cat. I find it amazing that he lived this long.
I had scheduled the euthanasia procedure for Monday night, and I'm relieved that Mike died on his own. It may have been more painful for him to die in that manner than it would have been for him to have been heavily sedated before his heart stopped, but I don't know. I do know that I would have had a much more difficult time coping with that situation, however.
Perhaps avoiding making an event out of it affords me the ability to deny / repress / ignore the situation. But perhaps it is more complicated than that.
I don't feel different than I did yesterday. However, maybe I am numb.
It's also possible that I do feel different and don't know it yet. Alexithymia makes for interesting times. Perhaps in a few days I will know that I feel different. Then I can figure out what word goes with that different feeling. The situation calls for grief -- perhaps this will be a simpler emotional puzzle to solve -- I already have the final label.
During middle school and high school, when I was most deeply depressed, Mike was essentially the only object I loved and felt love from. Overly-simplistic love, and unconditional love. But nonetheless, far more than I could give or receive from my family or friends. It would make sense, then, that his death would have a significant impact on my emotions.
But not yet, it seems.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Technorati
I'm not sure if I should really do this. Gonna anyway. Technorati Profile. The button I have to click next in Technorati is "Release the Spiders!"
Saturday, May 12, 2007
To all of you doubters and haters...
who think that I effectively do not have an ass, I submit to you this:
While on the Metro today, a woman behind me stumbled as she was standing up and caught herself--that's right--on my ass. Not my belt, not my back pockets, my ass.
Ergo, my ass is extant and, somewhat unbelievably, functional.
~Evan
Monday, April 30, 2007
You are a Datum
... and I think you should fill out this survey.
I am unaffiliated; just interested.
And more data points means statistically-cleaner results.
I am unaffiliated; just interested.
And more data points means statistically-cleaner results.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Reject If Button Is Up
I would have more of these, but I stupidly cleaned up my desk a while back.
• Christmas 2003 was the anniversary of Main Street Sing, a tradition started by The Nantucket Civil League in 1903.
(Can you spot the redundant information? I can–and, boy-howdy–it really pisses me off. If you're drinking a Nantucket Nectars, you're probably rich and probably white and are probably well-educated enough that you can probably subtract one hundred from two-thousand-and-three. Fuckers. Probably.)
• Nantucket is an island, a county, and a town. It's the only U.S. place with the same name for all 3.
(Who cares? Not me. But obviously someone did. Since it's on the inside of this here bottle cap.)
• Cisco Brewery's Triple 8 party on Nantucket is always at 8pm on 8/8.
(Dude. 8pm on 8/8/08 is gonna be fuckin' sweet. I just know it. Who's in?)
• The fire truck on Tuckernuck Island always has keys in it.
(Which keys? House keys? Or the actual keys to the fire truck?)
• There are 44 steps at Steps Beach on Nantucket.
(If you had long legs and took them two at a time, you'd take approximately 22 steps. What now, bottle cap? What now?)
• In 2001, Nantucket won the Best Island award from the readers of Travel and Leisure.
(Sample size? Response rate? What other islands were in the list of possibilities? Because, well, the Caribbean is pretty nice, I hear.)
• Built in 1675, the oldest home in the village of Sconset, Nantucket is named Auld Lang Syne.
(Homes have names? Why? I'd call that one, "Really Dang Old". Or maybe just "Get Off My Porch".)
• The best whale watching off of Nantucket happens in July and August.
(What are the whales watching? What makes that the best? I mean, really – do the whales really care? And how could you possibly know that they think it's the best during those months. Like whales know what month it is. Seriously.)
• Nantucketers moving to the mainland in the 18th Century often disassembled their island homes and took them along off the island.
(... thus creating the first trailer park in the United States. Good job. Way to raise the standards. I thought you elitists had some class.)
• The Nantucket High School sports teams are known as the Whalers.
(What's with these whales? Known to whom?)
• Christmas 2003 was the anniversary of Main Street Sing, a tradition started by The Nantucket Civil League in 1903.
(Can you spot the redundant information? I can–and, boy-howdy–it really pisses me off. If you're drinking a Nantucket Nectars, you're probably rich and probably white and are probably well-educated enough that you can probably subtract one hundred from two-thousand-and-three. Fuckers. Probably.)
• Nantucket is an island, a county, and a town. It's the only U.S. place with the same name for all 3.
(Who cares? Not me. But obviously someone did. Since it's on the inside of this here bottle cap.)
• Cisco Brewery's Triple 8 party on Nantucket is always at 8pm on 8/8.
(Dude. 8pm on 8/8/08 is gonna be fuckin' sweet. I just know it. Who's in?)
• The fire truck on Tuckernuck Island always has keys in it.
(Which keys? House keys? Or the actual keys to the fire truck?)
• There are 44 steps at Steps Beach on Nantucket.
(If you had long legs and took them two at a time, you'd take approximately 22 steps. What now, bottle cap? What now?)
• In 2001, Nantucket won the Best Island award from the readers of Travel and Leisure.
(Sample size? Response rate? What other islands were in the list of possibilities? Because, well, the Caribbean is pretty nice, I hear.)
• Built in 1675, the oldest home in the village of Sconset, Nantucket is named Auld Lang Syne.
(Homes have names? Why? I'd call that one, "Really Dang Old". Or maybe just "Get Off My Porch".)
• The best whale watching off of Nantucket happens in July and August.
(What are the whales watching? What makes that the best? I mean, really – do the whales really care? And how could you possibly know that they think it's the best during those months. Like whales know what month it is. Seriously.)
• Nantucketers moving to the mainland in the 18th Century often disassembled their island homes and took them along off the island.
(... thus creating the first trailer park in the United States. Good job. Way to raise the standards. I thought you elitists had some class.)
• The Nantucket High School sports teams are known as the Whalers.
(What's with these whales? Known to whom?)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I Chug Kimchi
Would someone mind printing me a t-shirt that says, "I Chug Kimchi"? That'd be great. Thanks.
What follows is the text from what I believe to be all of the fortunes I've saved from fortune cookies. I will now ponder whether I am comfortable throwing them away. (I might need the Lucky Numbers or Chinese phrases. Really. I might.)
• You could prosper in the field of medical research.
• You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
• You look pretty.
• You are a person of strong sense of duty.
• You are never selfish with your advice or your help.
• Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians.
• A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance.
• Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you.
• German proverb: No trees touch the sky.
• You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now.
• You lead by example, which inspires others.
• Find release from your cares, have a good time.
• You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time.
• Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
• Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.
• Confucius says your eyes have magnetized a secret admirer.
• You understand how to have fun with others and to enjoy your solitude.
• A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations.
• Sincerity is the finest point of communication.
• You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
• You are strong and brave.
• You are contemplative and analytical by nature.
• One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
• You may be conservative, cautious and practical.
• Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
• Don't be discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
• Security is in the offering.
• Explore the backroads of the north with a new friend.
Pick your favorite?
What follows is the text from what I believe to be all of the fortunes I've saved from fortune cookies. I will now ponder whether I am comfortable throwing them away. (I might need the Lucky Numbers or Chinese phrases. Really. I might.)
• You could prosper in the field of medical research.
• You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
• You look pretty.
• You are a person of strong sense of duty.
• You are never selfish with your advice or your help.
• Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians.
• A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance.
• Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you.
• German proverb: No trees touch the sky.
• You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now.
• You lead by example, which inspires others.
• Find release from your cares, have a good time.
• You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time.
• Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
• Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.
• Confucius says your eyes have magnetized a secret admirer.
• You understand how to have fun with others and to enjoy your solitude.
• A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations.
• Sincerity is the finest point of communication.
• You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
• You are strong and brave.
• You are contemplative and analytical by nature.
• One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
• You may be conservative, cautious and practical.
• Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
• Don't be discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
• Security is in the offering.
• Explore the backroads of the north with a new friend.
Pick your favorite?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
In Dreams
I had a long, detailed dream about zippers on 4-way stretch soft-shells. In real life, zippers don't stretch. In dreams, they do. It only caused trouble.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
The Personality of D.C.
Is this endeavor an interesting quasi-experiment in cognitive psychology, or a measure of the personality of an entire city? The article is worth the read, so I'm not going to put any spoilers here. (Seriously... read it. Neither me nor my parents could put it down until they finished. And the online one has video!)
Friday, April 6, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Capricorn
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are considered lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any real importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for long periods of time as they tend to attract pigeons.
This is almost entirely accurate. e.g., I was shat upon by a pigeon yesterday. It is, indeed, why I rarely get out of bed.
Link
This is almost entirely accurate. e.g., I was shat upon by a pigeon yesterday. It is, indeed, why I rarely get out of bed.
Link
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Tuesday
Yesterday's wrath mellowed out a bit, for un-reflected-upon reasons. I got to fix a sendmail problem, which was a good distraction –– they're usually a bit more difficult than other unix problems. Mainly because their configuration files look as though they were written by a monkey that only had access to the right shift key, and all of the non-letter keys.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Monday
There's nothing quite like sleeping for crap, and "waking up" angry with the world –– every living, breathing thing deserving of wrath. (The non-living, non-breathing things, too, come to think of it.) Waking up full of pure, essentially directionless, purposeless, anger – hate – even. Goddamn, that's good stuff.
Especially when it's one's own fault, more or less. Booze leads to horrifically altered sleep schedule leads to missed doses of the happy pills leads to significantly altered proportions of neurotransmitters in the brain soup creates jilted feedback and feed-forward neuronal loops and further fucked-up sleeping and suddenly every side of the bed is the wrong side and God fucking DAMMIT it's Monday again.
So, of course, because it's Monday again, and every side of the bed is the wrong side –– there is no more shampoo so I have to use the super-manly body-wash on my precious precious curls (What's that? You want me to just GIVE you my old cell phone? Because you lost yours AGAIN AND YOU USE UP ALL OF MY SHAMPOO AND DON'T REPLACE IT??? Think again, buddy, my crappy little phone just got a lot more expensive, you little fuckwit); the cat has shat all over the place, except for in the litter box; everything wrong with the way IT is run is making itself crystal clear to me all at once, and only one of my three bosses is going to be at all sympathetic (and that's probably because he is always sympathetic, full stop, always making peace).
It either tastes like napalm or bureaucracy. I'm not sure which, and the tastes may be blending. And it's all my fault. Or yours. Depending.
Especially when it's one's own fault, more or less. Booze leads to horrifically altered sleep schedule leads to missed doses of the happy pills leads to significantly altered proportions of neurotransmitters in the brain soup creates jilted feedback and feed-forward neuronal loops and further fucked-up sleeping and suddenly every side of the bed is the wrong side and God fucking DAMMIT it's Monday again.
So, of course, because it's Monday again, and every side of the bed is the wrong side –– there is no more shampoo so I have to use the super-manly body-wash on my precious precious curls (What's that? You want me to just GIVE you my old cell phone? Because you lost yours AGAIN AND YOU USE UP ALL OF MY SHAMPOO AND DON'T REPLACE IT??? Think again, buddy, my crappy little phone just got a lot more expensive, you little fuckwit); the cat has shat all over the place, except for in the litter box; everything wrong with the way IT is run is making itself crystal clear to me all at once, and only one of my three bosses is going to be at all sympathetic (and that's probably because he is always sympathetic, full stop, always making peace).
It either tastes like napalm or bureaucracy. I'm not sure which, and the tastes may be blending. And it's all my fault. Or yours. Depending.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Saturday
“Saturday” or perhaps, “WaPo Horoscope is Crap”
My “crazy adventure” that was “well worth” my money was a happy hour with a high enough ABV to warrant sleeping through today.
On a recommendation, perhaps I'll go with BBspot's instead:
If life gives you lemons, don't rub them in your eyes again.
See? Much more relevant to learning moderation than this, from the Post:
Your loftiest goals are possible. But if you can't easily explain your intentions, perhaps they're still not clear to even you. Break your plan down into concise steps.
I'll break this down into concise steps for you: “I need to sleep through the day so I don't feel like death.”
Broken down, indeed.
My “crazy adventure” that was “well worth” my money was a happy hour with a high enough ABV to warrant sleeping through today.
On a recommendation, perhaps I'll go with BBspot's instead:
If life gives you lemons, don't rub them in your eyes again.
See? Much more relevant to learning moderation than this, from the Post:
Your loftiest goals are possible. But if you can't easily explain your intentions, perhaps they're still not clear to even you. Break your plan down into concise steps.
I'll break this down into concise steps for you: “I need to sleep through the day so I don't feel like death.”
Broken down, indeed.
Friday, March 30, 2007
How libraries should really work.
For all my climber-friends:
(Click on it to see the more-readable size.)
Also – This comic takes place in an elementary school. Did your elementary school use the LOC system? I was pretty sure most elementary schools used the Dewey Decimal system for cataloging and shelving and whatnot. Maybe this is a very advanced elementary school.
(Click on it to see the more-readable size.)
Also – This comic takes place in an elementary school. Did your elementary school use the LOC system? I was pretty sure most elementary schools used the Dewey Decimal system for cataloging and shelving and whatnot. Maybe this is a very advanced elementary school.
Friday
You'll risk a few dollars in the name of having a good time. Decide what you're willing to lose. The crazy adventure your money buys now is well worth it.
Sooo...
Today is payday.
I'm going to Happy Hour.
I have very little idea of how much I'm willing to lose.
Probably I'll ponder that after the first beer.
If a crazy adventure cannot be bought, I'm going to be disappointed.
However, I can't think of a crazy adventure that I could buy tonight.
At least not one that I'd particularly enjoy.
Hmm.
Sooo...
Today is payday.
I'm going to Happy Hour.
I have very little idea of how much I'm willing to lose.
Probably I'll ponder that after the first beer.
If a crazy adventure cannot be bought, I'm going to be disappointed.
However, I can't think of a crazy adventure that I could buy tonight.
At least not one that I'd particularly enjoy.
Hmm.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Thursday
At least, I think it's Thursday. I was planning on reading my horoscope before the day started, but only managed to snag the Style section of the Post on my way out the door. And then the day started with the bossman re-arranging my priorities, again. Some days I want one boss, not three. Anyway. Thursday.
The value attach to what you're giving others is relative to what you feel while you're giving. Give with an open hand and heart, and it's received as such.
Hmm. Well, that's kinda crap. So when you smack people with an open hand during open-heart surgery, they understand? ... right on.
I think I need to find a more amusing horoscope to muse me.
Today I 90% finished migrating the network monitoring service to the new server. It will be even cooler when we start all over again with clean configurations instead of the horrible, horrible cruft that's there now.
Also -- The Who's “Endless Wire” is pretty good. Better than expected. Bruce in‛75 wasn't as good as expected. Next up – Arcade Fire's “Neon Bible”.
The value attach to what you're giving others is relative to what you feel while you're giving. Give with an open hand and heart, and it's received as such.
Hmm. Well, that's kinda crap. So when you smack people with an open hand during open-heart surgery, they understand? ... right on.
I think I need to find a more amusing horoscope to muse me.
Today I 90% finished migrating the network monitoring service to the new server. It will be even cooler when we start all over again with clean configurations instead of the horrible, horrible cruft that's there now.
Also -- The Who's “Endless Wire” is pretty good. Better than expected. Bruce in‛75 wasn't as good as expected. Next up – Arcade Fire's “Neon Bible”.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wednesday
Somewhere tucked in the back of your closet is the equivalent of a hot-pink fedora or a screaming polka-dot bow tie. Your life force is too strong right now to keep it hidden. I dare you to wear it!
Okay, so, the thing is – I have a bright pink shirt that I can get away with wearing to work. And I probably would have, if I had read this in the morning, instead of late at night. Damn.
I think I'll start reading the horoscope in the morning and exploring the potential effects of complying with it, the hindsight and expectancy-confirmation biases.
I did listen to the Springsteen album. It was fun. Not superb, but good.
You'll stay the hell out of the way of my life force if you know what's good for you.
Okay, so, the thing is – I have a bright pink shirt that I can get away with wearing to work. And I probably would have, if I had read this in the morning, instead of late at night. Damn.
I think I'll start reading the horoscope in the morning and exploring the potential effects of complying with it, the hindsight and expectancy-confirmation biases.
I did listen to the Springsteen album. It was fun. Not superb, but good.
You'll stay the hell out of the way of my life force if you know what's good for you.
The screen door slams, Mary's dress waves...
Yesterday, five CDs that I ordered arrived. This is awesome. I am excited. More on this later.
Today I'm going to do a fresh installation of Solaris 9, documenting all the while. Hopefully I can run the install from the network rather than change CDs multiple times.
Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band are going to accompany me, playing at the Hammersmith Odeon in London, in 1975.
I brought my headphones and everything; God help anyone who interrupts me.
Hey, I know it's late, but we can make it if we run...
Today I'm going to do a fresh installation of Solaris 9, documenting all the while. Hopefully I can run the install from the network rather than change CDs multiple times.
Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band are going to accompany me, playing at the Hammersmith Odeon in London, in 1975.
I brought my headphones and everything; God help anyone who interrupts me.
Hey, I know it's late, but we can make it if we run...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Tuesday
Want to conspire with forces beyond your imagining? Focus on the best possible outcome for all involved. When you align with an intention, you can go anywhere.
First off, HELL YES do I ever want to conspire with some forces beyond my imagining.
Second – the rest is crap.
Lunch today was good.
I cannot even being to imagining what the best possible outcome for all involved would be. That would be like being the future.
Word.
First off, HELL YES do I ever want to conspire with some forces beyond my imagining.
Second – the rest is crap.
Lunch today was good.
I cannot even being to imagining what the best possible outcome for all involved would be. That would be like being the future.
Word.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Monday
You could wait all day for someone to get his or her act together. Do what makes sense for you to feel complete. Nothing's so important that you have to put off for tomorrow what you could do today.
I suppose this could relate to work – the network monitoring server is dying, slowly, and I took it upon myself to move the services to another server rather than waiting for someone else to get on top of it. But that did very little to make me feel complete. Yeah, that's about it. Well, that, and the work that was so important that I had to put other stuff off for tomorrow. So.
I'm not sure I even want to touch the last sentence. ‘Cause – really – everything gets put off until tomorrow, unless I happened to finish it today. And I finished nothing today; just created more work for myself. Procrastination is a skill I've mastered over the years. Oh yeah.
I suppose this could relate to work – the network monitoring server is dying, slowly, and I took it upon myself to move the services to another server rather than waiting for someone else to get on top of it. But that did very little to make me feel complete. Yeah, that's about it. Well, that, and the work that was so important that I had to put other stuff off for tomorrow. So.
I'm not sure I even want to touch the last sentence. ‘Cause – really – everything gets put off until tomorrow, unless I happened to finish it today. And I finished nothing today; just created more work for myself. Procrastination is a skill I've mastered over the years. Oh yeah.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
three point six seven miles
On a 42x16 fixie:
18.19 minutes riding time (eh.)
11.8mph average (whopping!)
22mph max (I guess I still have a fast-twitch muscle or two – I certainly didn't let that happen going down a hill...)
And it damn near killed me. I have approximately zero cardiovascular capacity. Just legs that can still go, it seems. Just not for very long. My chest hurts. Possibly my heart, specifically. But I've done this before – barely have the coordination to get the bike in through the garage without dropping it on Dad's red mid-life crisis convertible; hands shaking while I try to guzzle water. Fun. So I'll just not move for a while and it will all be better.
Quitting smoking? Nah... I learn the nifty trick of biking and smoking a cigarette. I got the no-hands thing down cold, so lighting up won't be hard. Not getting a cherry in the eye, though... that'll require some luck? skill? practice? Ouch. Maybe I'll just quit instead.
Hopefully I won't ruin my sleep cycles by falling asleep before bedtime. It is awfully tempting, though. ... take another drink of water, chew up some ibuprofen, and just curl up right here.... zzzzzzzzzsnork wha? what? huh?
The Crank Bros. "Candy" pedals are nice (and pink!) -- not too much different than the Time ATACs they replaced, other than weight. I think the seatpost needs to be moved up or down, I'm not sure which... my knees twinge a bit when I'm doing anything but pushing down on the pedals -- and that's not going help the smooth pedal stroke I think I've developed by riding this thing in the past. The handlebars weren't tight enough, but I didn't notice that until a bigger bump when I was almost home. Handlebar tape held well. Haven't checked the rebuilt wheel yet, but I don't think I heard the pop of any of the spokes de-tensioning. Don't know what I think of the new waterbottle cages. Didn't lose any bottles, they're pink, but... I'm undecided.
(D&M: I'll take a picture soon, I promise.)
Next: Spend lots of money on a headlight. I have an older NiteRider that goes on my helmet. Any suggestions for a handlebar-mounted one?
My legs are gonna hurt tomorrow, aren't they. Limping at work will amuse.
18.19 minutes riding time (eh.)
11.8mph average (whopping!)
22mph max (I guess I still have a fast-twitch muscle or two – I certainly didn't let that happen going down a hill...)
And it damn near killed me. I have approximately zero cardiovascular capacity. Just legs that can still go, it seems. Just not for very long. My chest hurts. Possibly my heart, specifically. But I've done this before – barely have the coordination to get the bike in through the garage without dropping it on Dad's red mid-life crisis convertible; hands shaking while I try to guzzle water. Fun. So I'll just not move for a while and it will all be better.
Quitting smoking? Nah... I learn the nifty trick of biking and smoking a cigarette. I got the no-hands thing down cold, so lighting up won't be hard. Not getting a cherry in the eye, though... that'll require some luck? skill? practice? Ouch. Maybe I'll just quit instead.
Hopefully I won't ruin my sleep cycles by falling asleep before bedtime. It is awfully tempting, though. ... take another drink of water, chew up some ibuprofen, and just curl up right here.... zzzzzzzzzsnork wha? what? huh?
The Crank Bros. "Candy" pedals are nice (and pink!) -- not too much different than the Time ATACs they replaced, other than weight. I think the seatpost needs to be moved up or down, I'm not sure which... my knees twinge a bit when I'm doing anything but pushing down on the pedals -- and that's not going help the smooth pedal stroke I think I've developed by riding this thing in the past. The handlebars weren't tight enough, but I didn't notice that until a bigger bump when I was almost home. Handlebar tape held well. Haven't checked the rebuilt wheel yet, but I don't think I heard the pop of any of the spokes de-tensioning. Don't know what I think of the new waterbottle cages. Didn't lose any bottles, they're pink, but... I'm undecided.
(D&M: I'll take a picture soon, I promise.)
Next: Spend lots of money on a headlight. I have an older NiteRider that goes on my helmet. Any suggestions for a handlebar-mounted one?
My legs are gonna hurt tomorrow, aren't they. Limping at work will amuse.
Sunday
Take time for the small things and the big things handle themselves. Some of the habits that make you feel accomplished, enriched and stronger only take about five minutes — like reading or doing sit-ups.
Are you calling me fat?! Are you calling me fat?!
This is so wrong, I barely know where to begin. Oh wait, I already did – I'm not fat. Fuckwit horoscope. Anyway, I have big things to do, and there is no way that doing the small things will make/let the big things handle themselves. No Way. I will, nonetheless, read a bit today. The NYT magazine has an interesting article on auditory hallucinations, for instance. I'm going to go read that now. And just in case It was calling me fat, I'm going to start to break in the reconstructed fixie. ... fuckwit horoscope...
Are you calling me fat?! Are you calling me fat?!
This is so wrong, I barely know where to begin. Oh wait, I already did – I'm not fat. Fuckwit horoscope. Anyway, I have big things to do, and there is no way that doing the small things will make/let the big things handle themselves. No Way. I will, nonetheless, read a bit today. The NYT magazine has an interesting article on auditory hallucinations, for instance. I'm going to go read that now. And just in case It was calling me fat, I'm going to start to break in the reconstructed fixie. ... fuckwit horoscope...
Shaggy's Ego-dystonic Stylings
For about as long as I can remember, my facial features and hair have not matched my self-image. :::thinks back::: Okay, maybe not always, but for the majority of the time for as long as I can remember.
This is, I think, an emotional reaction. And it ebbs and flows. Since I went shopping yesterday with L., I saw more mirrors than usual, and noticed it more. So, this morning I trimmed the beard to a shorter-than-usual and a more uniform-than-usual length, cleaned up the sides and whatnot. This was more of a rough cut — took about an inch off in the longest places. I'll make it neat and tidy tomorrow. It seems better. More beard-like than very-shaggy-goatee-like, I think. Maybe an improvement. M. claimed that it looked good.
My long, lovely, curly locks are still ego-dystonic. But a tight ponytail takes care of that, for now. Perhaps those could be donated, if I wait a bit longer.
It does seem strange that one can look in the mirror and think, "That's not me," and not know what would be, because regardless of what you think/feel, it is you. Weird. Anyone know the name of this phenomenon?
This is, I think, an emotional reaction. And it ebbs and flows. Since I went shopping yesterday with L., I saw more mirrors than usual, and noticed it more. So, this morning I trimmed the beard to a shorter-than-usual and a more uniform-than-usual length, cleaned up the sides and whatnot. This was more of a rough cut — took about an inch off in the longest places. I'll make it neat and tidy tomorrow. It seems better. More beard-like than very-shaggy-goatee-like, I think. Maybe an improvement. M. claimed that it looked good.
My long, lovely, curly locks are still ego-dystonic. But a tight ponytail takes care of that, for now. Perhaps those could be donated, if I wait a bit longer.
It does seem strange that one can look in the mirror and think, "That's not me," and not know what would be, because regardless of what you think/feel, it is you. Weird. Anyone know the name of this phenomenon?
So, apparently...
I can email my posts in. Interesting development, since their other mobile posting options don't work with my weird smartphone.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Someone Else's Saturday
A mistake calls you to correct it. That doesn't mean it's a sin or a crime. It's just a mistake and you can fix it easily and move on. This you'll do before the sun sets.
The only call I got today was from the person mentioned in my previous post today. And we interacted before the sun set. I don't think there were any mistakes or corrections involved. So... I've got nothing. That horoscope makes no sense. The WaPo print edition creates a nice non-sequitur for my life, I suppose. Weird. I still trust the dead-tree horoscope more.
The only call I got today was from the person mentioned in my previous post today. And we interacted before the sun set. I don't think there were any mistakes or corrections involved. So... I've got nothing. That horoscope makes no sense. The WaPo print edition creates a nice non-sequitur for my life, I suppose. Weird. I still trust the dead-tree horoscope more.
Saturday
You love spontaneous fun as much as the next person -- but you also know when it's time to buckle down and get serious. Unfortunately, not everyone else does, and this could negatively affect the harmony of your day. A flighty person who doesn't know the definition of the word 'preparation' will throw a wrench into your carefully laid plans. But don't worry -- if you summon up every ounce of your flexibility, you will be able to handle it with grace!
The hindsight bias does this horoscope a mighty favor. As will probably be the case with every post-hoc horoscope analysis. (Oooh, I could actually read it in the morning, and then I'd get to see how well the expectancy-confirmation bias played out.)
I had plans to buckle down today and install the last of the daylight savings time patches today, but that hasn't happened, and probably won't. The person who “affected the harmony of [my] day” wasn't “flighty” so much as “hungover” and definitely knows the definition of the word “preparation” and how to “buckle down”. I don't think there wasn't a “wrench” involved. And my plans were far from “carefully laid”. Today did require an “ounce” of “flexibility”. While there is some chance that I handled it with “grace”, writing about probably costs me a few points.
Regardless of my horoscope and any biases influencing this writing, today was fun -- spontaneous fun. Not a bad thing at all. Wandering around downtown with a good friend was good, even if it was cut a little short. I need to work less, not more. It's just unfortunate that I need to install those patches during off-hours. I also think the person in question will handle it with grace, too.
The hindsight bias does this horoscope a mighty favor. As will probably be the case with every post-hoc horoscope analysis. (Oooh, I could actually read it in the morning, and then I'd get to see how well the expectancy-confirmation bias played out.)
I had plans to buckle down today and install the last of the daylight savings time patches today, but that hasn't happened, and probably won't. The person who “affected the harmony of [my] day” wasn't “flighty” so much as “hungover” and definitely knows the definition of the word “preparation” and how to “buckle down”. I don't think there wasn't a “wrench” involved. And my plans were far from “carefully laid”. Today did require an “ounce” of “flexibility”. While there is some chance that I handled it with “grace”, writing about probably costs me a few points.
Regardless of my horoscope and any biases influencing this writing, today was fun -- spontaneous fun. Not a bad thing at all. Wandering around downtown with a good friend was good, even if it was cut a little short. I need to work less, not more. It's just unfortunate that I need to install those patches during off-hours. I also think the person in question will handle it with grace, too.
A trope.
I am a Capricorn. Please leave comments as to what that means for my short- and long-term outcomes.
So this is a bit of a trope, and perhaps a stupid one. Only one way to find out... (hire a bio-chemist.)
So this is a bit of a trope, and perhaps a stupid one. Only one way to find out... (hire a bio-chemist.)
A race.
A friend informed me that I'm blog-racing one of her friends. This is a very silly idea, but it may prompt me to write more, which is a good thing.
Dear Self-discipline,
Get your game face on.
Thanks,
Me
Dear Self-discipline,
Get your game face on.
Thanks,
Me
Sunday, March 11, 2007
How is it not a fixed quantity?
I've spent the past week getting all of our Sun Solaris servers upgraded to accommodate the DOE's alteration to the DST start and end dates. And all of the Java installations on those servers. And our Document Management System... which I didn't finish.
So I'm pretty pleased that my Verizon cell phone thinks that the time is now 2:27 rather than 3:27 (which is the "real" time). The Cingular work-phone jumped to 3a right on schedule.
Good job, Cingular. And good job, Verizon, but mainly because you make me feel better about myself.
(And it looks like this website is off, too. By an hour... and five minutes. Doesn't anyone use NTP anymore?)
So I'm pretty pleased that my Verizon cell phone thinks that the time is now 2:27 rather than 3:27 (which is the "real" time). The Cingular work-phone jumped to 3a right on schedule.
Good job, Cingular. And good job, Verizon, but mainly because you make me feel better about myself.
(And it looks like this website is off, too. By an hour... and five minutes. Doesn't anyone use NTP anymore?)
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Hopefully...
someday I can put together a set of photographs as neat as Bill Sullivan can. "More Turns" was the most striking. The other two are neat, too, as is the concept. Candid shots really are the best.
While I'm mumbling about photography, JPG Magazine strikes me as interesting. I don't love the title, but given how it works, I can't come up with a better name for it. Issue 7 discusses how "Raw Magazine" was taken... and that most less-than-totally-professional photographers (myself include) do take photos as JPEGs. So.
While I'm mumbling about photography, JPG Magazine strikes me as interesting. I don't love the title, but given how it works, I can't come up with a better name for it. Issue 7 discusses how "Raw Magazine" was taken... and that most less-than-totally-professional photographers (myself include) do take photos as JPEGs. So.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Hmm...
This is the kind of thing I'm hoping to avoid. The... what to call it... fear-based society? Not cool. I don't have a lot to say about it, other than I think it's bad, and I suppose that's all there is to it. The big bad world stomps on ideals and tough shit if you want or try to think otherwise.
Edit: The blog I linked to removed all of its postings -- but it was a posting about being worried that employers would find the blog and... be biased. And potential litigation.
Edit: The blog I linked to removed all of its postings -- but it was a posting about being worried that employers would find the blog and... be biased. And potential litigation.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I can't forget, but I don't remember what.
Der 404 Error!
Yep, it's your lot in life. You go looking for something, and what do you find? Nothing. Whatever you were looking for, it's not here. Mebbe it moved, mebbe it ran away. Either way, try something else.
Feel that this message isn't true? Feel that you deserve otherwise? Has the world mistreated you? Feel free to contact my master. He may be able to help.
-----
Best 404 ever. Mebbe.
Yep, it's your lot in life. You go looking for something, and what do you find? Nothing. Whatever you were looking for, it's not here. Mebbe it moved, mebbe it ran away. Either way, try something else.
Feel that this message isn't true? Feel that you deserve otherwise? Has the world mistreated you? Feel free to contact my master. He may be able to help.
-----
Best 404 ever. Mebbe.
I am Jack's Hacking Cough.
Capricorn
You wake up with no plans, no agenda and no idea what the day will bring. Is this a recipe for adventure or disaster? Team up with a Sagittarius person and it's definitely the former.
Well, let's see. I woke up several times today. First was at roughly 8:00am, just long enough to take some DayQuil, which strangely put me right back to sleep. (What's that? Am I sure it was DayQuil and not its evil twin NyQuil? Yes, I am sure. Because whatever I took a shot of this morning did not taste like rancid Jägermeister as NyQuil does. That said, don't call my friend evil. Three shots of NyQuil fixes just about anything. Kind of like Drano, paper towels, and electrical tape.) Then I woke up again around Noon to tell my dad that I was, in fact, still sick and did not want to go see a movie. Then I woke up for real when a friend called. I'm not sure if she's a Sagittarius since I have no memory for birthdays and don't ask people for their sign. I'm going to pretend she is, just to make sure that today is an adventure. An adventure in staying hydrated and attempting not to cough off the entire lining of back of my throat. For the third day in a row. I did take a shower, though, so maybe I don't smell like death. But now my feet are cold. Warming them up will certainly be an adventure. Thanks, Horoscope. (Well, whatever. Horoscope certainly nailed the "no plans, no agenda, and no idea" part.)
You wake up with no plans, no agenda and no idea what the day will bring. Is this a recipe for adventure or disaster? Team up with a Sagittarius person and it's definitely the former.
Well, let's see. I woke up several times today. First was at roughly 8:00am, just long enough to take some DayQuil, which strangely put me right back to sleep. (What's that? Am I sure it was DayQuil and not its evil twin NyQuil? Yes, I am sure. Because whatever I took a shot of this morning did not taste like rancid Jägermeister as NyQuil does. That said, don't call my friend evil. Three shots of NyQuil fixes just about anything. Kind of like Drano, paper towels, and electrical tape.) Then I woke up again around Noon to tell my dad that I was, in fact, still sick and did not want to go see a movie. Then I woke up for real when a friend called. I'm not sure if she's a Sagittarius since I have no memory for birthdays and don't ask people for their sign. I'm going to pretend she is, just to make sure that today is an adventure. An adventure in staying hydrated and attempting not to cough off the entire lining of back of my throat. For the third day in a row. I did take a shower, though, so maybe I don't smell like death. But now my feet are cold. Warming them up will certainly be an adventure. Thanks, Horoscope. (Well, whatever. Horoscope certainly nailed the "no plans, no agenda, and no idea" part.)
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Napalm
Names have been changed to Titles to protect the innocent.
-----
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 5:23 PM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Transfer Course Question
Dear Associate Registrar,
I hope all is well, and that you've had a lovely holiday.
I was wondering if School would accept an EMT-Basic course as equivalent to the Physical Education "Standard First Aid" course. Since the EMT course is 6 credits, is there a way to accept all six without equivalent School courses?
Thanks,
E.T.C. '06ish.
-----------
On 1/3/07, Associate Registrar wrote:
Hi E.T.C.,
Sorry, but this course is not transferable to School.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 8:44 AM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Re: Transfer Course Question
Associate Registrar,
Good morning. What's the reason for its non-transferable status?
Thanks,
E.T.C.
-----------
On 1/3/07, Associate Registrar wrote:
This is considered a vo-tech course. You are expected to select course work that would fit into School's liberal arts curriculum. EMT courses do not fit into this category.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 9:10 AM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Re: Transfer Course Question
Associate Registrar,
I would guess that an EMT-Basic course is a superset of School's First Aid course, and I'd imagine that at least two of the eight credits would fit within School's curriculum.
Thanks,
E.T.C.
-----------
From: Associate Registrar
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 9:13 AM
To: E.T.C.
Cc: The Registrar
Subject: RE: Transfer Course Question
E.T.C.,
Well, I did not know you had recently become an expert regarding the courses that School will (and should) accept for transfer. I'm ducking out of this e-mail exchange and since transfer credits are approved by The Registrar you will have to make your argument with him.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: The Registrar
Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:18 AM
Subject: RE: Transfer Course Question
To: E.T.C.
Cc: Associate Registrar
E.T.C.:
I am the final authority on the transferable of courses and what the Associate Registrar told you on my account stands. Please find a more suitable course.
The Registrar
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What was that Paul Newman line?
“You smell that? Do you smell that? Bureaucracy, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of bureaucracy in the morning.”
Yeah, I think that's the one.
(A friend says, “Maybe from the movie "Apocalypse No".”)
Good times.
-----
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 5:23 PM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Transfer Course Question
Dear Associate Registrar,
I hope all is well, and that you've had a lovely holiday.
I was wondering if School would accept an EMT-Basic course as equivalent to the Physical Education "Standard First Aid" course. Since the EMT course is 6 credits, is there a way to accept all six without equivalent School courses?
Thanks,
E.T.C. '06ish.
-----------
On 1/3/07, Associate Registrar wrote:
Hi E.T.C.,
Sorry, but this course is not transferable to School.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 8:44 AM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Re: Transfer Course Question
Associate Registrar,
Good morning. What's the reason for its non-transferable status?
Thanks,
E.T.C.
-----------
On 1/3/07, Associate Registrar wrote:
This is considered a vo-tech course. You are expected to select course work that would fit into School's liberal arts curriculum. EMT courses do not fit into this category.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: E.T.C.
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 9:10 AM
To: Associate Registrar
Subject: Re: Transfer Course Question
Associate Registrar,
I would guess that an EMT-Basic course is a superset of School's First Aid course, and I'd imagine that at least two of the eight credits would fit within School's curriculum.
Thanks,
E.T.C.
-----------
From: Associate Registrar
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 9:13 AM
To: E.T.C.
Cc: The Registrar
Subject: RE: Transfer Course Question
E.T.C.,
Well, I did not know you had recently become an expert regarding the courses that School will (and should) accept for transfer. I'm ducking out of this e-mail exchange and since transfer credits are approved by The Registrar you will have to make your argument with him.
Associate Registrar
-----------
From: The Registrar
Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:18 AM
Subject: RE: Transfer Course Question
To: E.T.C.
Cc: Associate Registrar
E.T.C.:
I am the final authority on the transferable of courses and what the Associate Registrar told you on my account stands. Please find a more suitable course.
The Registrar
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What was that Paul Newman line?
“You smell that? Do you smell that? Bureaucracy, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of bureaucracy in the morning.”
Yeah, I think that's the one.
(A friend says, “Maybe from the movie "Apocalypse No".”)
Good times.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Platonic Ideals
I don't know if I will be successful in living the dream, but I will be keeping this in mind as I ... write.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)